Happy Friendship Day!!

What do you think when you think about friendship?
1. Loyalty
2. Trust
3. Respect
4. Euphoria
5. Goodwill
6. Love
7. Belonging
 .... and you may add to the list and people like me would keep on adding names to the list. :)

But many people will disagree with me. They will say that everyone is an opportunist. You must be wary of friends. They don't help, because they have something to gain out of it. They will push you to the front and run away when you need them the most. Voltaire even said "Lord, protect me from my friends; I can take care of my enemies." But the fact is that we still crave for company. We all desire love and more than that good friendship.

What draws you to people? It can be good feeling around a person. Looks. Yes!! Politeness could be a factor. Mannerism too.
And you may add to the list. What prompts you to make a friend? Good vibes around that person, a mutual good will, respect for each others opinion, etc. Money, good looks, etc does not prompt you to become friends. When you get along with a person just because that person is rich enough so that person may help you or you can benefit from that person or he/she has a lot of contacts and call him/her your best friend, that is mean. And if you get people, who are with you just to use you, there may have been something that has drawn them towards you in the first place. Any relation based on predator/victim mentality is going to fall apart one day or the other. The base for every relationship is honesty in the first place.

If you have good friends then you will see that it is based on spiritual connection rather than any circumstance or material connection. You just be friends, you never had to make an effort. They accept you as you are and you accept them as they are. There is no pretension and they know your worst and the best qualities. They feel bad when you are sad and also feel happy when you are. Often they may feel jealous of your happiness, and they may feel upset for a certain time. Fact is that they are afraid that you will move on and forget about them. Things won't be the same ever. They may move on just to avoid being hurt. They might also say some hurtful statements and run away. But that does not make them less than a friend. There may be some you meet, get inspired, you share some beautiful moments with them and one day, they leave the way they came and never look back. That really hurts a big time. You might feel betrayed and be cautious when you make friends the next time. Else many of us have instincts to act like the ostrich who duck their heads into the grass thinking that the predator cannot see them. There are some whom we help and then they move on leaving us upset for ever. And some who are lucky have people who stand by them like wall for an entire lifetime no matter what.

So the conclusion is friends are for a reason, season and a lifetime. We must accept this fact and make the best of what life offers us. Friendship is not created or achieved by an act of will or intention. Friendship is always an act of recognition and acceptance. That is why we never make friends, we be friends. Like any friendship, there are times when friendships travels through troughs. You may lose the attraction and magic. A smallest issue can make the presence of each other sore. The best thing to do at this time is to open up your soul and make known your true intention. If you send out the goodness withing you and the truest quality of your soul, then it will come back multiplied many times over and will erase all the hostility from the heart of the other person. If the other does not recognize that intent, then the role of that person is over in your life. Just wish all the best from your heart for that person and remember that universe brought you together for a reason.

You will also come across people with whom we become friends. Sadly, in the course of time we realize that this friendship is not going to last for very long. We separate in the best of relations but they leave a dent in our hearts and knowingly or unknowingly, we curse destiny. However, in the word of  John O'Donohue, “Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey.” Remember, that these friends of season have moulded you into persons you are today and be grateful to universe that you even have had the  opportunity of knowing them.

Still, there will be some that you get along with and whatever may be the situation you tend to be together and stick together. As if you both can face the world being together. Somehow and luckily, they be with you for an entire lifetime. Even if they part with you for a short while, they tend to come to you and be with you. And well, you have met your friend of a lifetime and that person is your BFF(Best Friend Forever).

Apart from the above kind of friendships, there is another kind of friendship which is far above the world that we perceive  as and is of a spiritual nature. This kind of friend will accept you as you truly are and recognize the light and beauty within you although you yourself may be oblivious to it. This will awaken the angel in you and your own true nature. This kind of friendship will let your soul shine. The Celtic tradition believes that every human being has an aura associated with his body. When you open and trust a person so much so that both your auras begin to flow together, a bond is formed of spiritual nature and it is said that you have found you anam cara or soul friend. According to John O'Donahue,  "...You are joined in an ancient and eternal union with humanity that cuts across all barriers of time, convention, philosophy and definition. When you are blessed with an anam cara, the Irish believe, you have arrived at that most sacred place: home."

Sometimes, there are those friends with whom you are very comfortable with. You can be yourself with this person but still you would like to become better for this person because whatever happens you will try to make this person happy even if the only thing that person wants is you being yourself. This kind of friendship will spark a growth insect in you and inspire you to become better in any aspect of life. There is a deep meaningful spiritual bond and you share a special rapport with that person. There is a electric spark in your relationship and you know in your subconscious that you belong to this person forever and there is no way that you can exist apart. There is a magic which is so rapturous that you may never feel this with any other person. There is always a feeling of purity and pure satisfaction with this person and in a certain period of time you may come to love that person and keep him/her above anything else. You protect this person in such a way as if he/she is a part of your soul. If you have met such a person and you mutually feel the same towards each other, then thank the universe that you have met your "Twin Flame Soulmate".

Love can be romantic, compassionate, etc but friendship can be unlimited. It is purest form of relationship known to mankind. If you have friends, be glad that you have them in your life. Ask a person who has been subjected to a lifetime of confinement and that person can tell you how lucky you are.

If you are a non-believer in friendship, then whenever you feel that a person is befriending you for some sinister intention, look directly into his/her eyes, they will tell you about their soul and hence, of their true intent.

May universe bless all of you with great many friends. Happy Friendship day!!

You do have enough time

Today I was replying to a friend who had written me almost a week back saying that "Sorry for the delayed response, I did not have time to write back". I stopped writing as I was completely lying to myself and the friend.


The fact that I had time for facebook, twitter, calling my friends to chat a bit (everyone knows by now that I am not that much of a caller than meeting up for a tête-à-tête), staying late at office, cooking, etc clearly refutes this statement. The reason that I never wrote back was that the fact that I did not feel inspired enough to write back. Was that friend so important to me? Yes. Was writing back worth it? No. Was meeting that person worth it? Definitely. Why? Because you get much more updates than writing long boring mails. So I fixed up a meeting with that friend.

So next time, friends, whenever you say that you do not have enough time, please introspect to find the actual reason you are trying to avoid any particular situation. Do not come up with lame, cliché excuses that probably seeped through generations of our lying fathers and grandfathers (who may have come up with the same excuse for the situations that even they wanted to avoid).

It is much better to face the truth than lying to ourselves. Eases the burden on our soul. Trust me. This comes from a firsthand experience. In case, you are trying to avoid a particularly clingy friend, be more creative and inventive. Come up with new excuses. And get rid of unwanted stuffs, work and people from your life. The more you de-clutter, the more you create space for the good things to flow in.

As far as your office is concerned, you can always tell about your pre-scheduled engagements or better that you cannot do two things at the same time.

Have a nice day and let me know your opinions on this.

Where the mind is without fear

Today, I had taken a leave on account of falling sick. By evening, I decided to clear some clutter as they were making me angry.
I stumbled upon 'Gitanjali' and it reminded of many years back when fear had no meaning in my life. Although these beliefs were old and hidden deep inside some nook of my mind but they are there. I decided to resurrect these beliefs and well this made me happy.
By the way, this was also taught in our school :-)

Please read through:

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake

--RabindraNath Tagore

Popular quotes by Benjamin Franklin

Today, while reading the National Geographic news about the debate about DST(Daylight Saving Time), I reckoned that this was a concept invented by Benjamin Franklin who noticed that the sun rose much earlier than he did and how much midnight lamp he could save if he rose earlier than the sun. That gave birth to the "early to bed and early to rise quote". He was one of the most remarkable thinkers of his time.

His quotes had been taught to children and accepted by people till date. The below are some of the quotes that I find worth sharing.

“Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy and wise.”

“Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.”

“To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals.”

“I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong”

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else”

“Anyone who trades liberty for security deserves neither liberty nor security”

“Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.”

“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.”

“If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten, Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.”

“When in doubt, don't.”

I Predict

I predict there will be world peace
I predict every war monger of the past and present
will be tried for crimes against humanity and brought to justice
I predict truthfulness will replace lying as a moral value
I predict the world will be one and trying to sell passports and visas
will be considered illegal and anyone trying to sell one
will be subject to a free tour of the world for rehabilitation
I predict sunshine will be radiant and air will be cleaner
and water will be purer and rain will be fresher
and soil will be nontoxic and fertile
I predict there will be more slow food
I predict children will know their parents
and parents will know their children
I predict moonlight and romance will reunite and instigate love
I predict there’ll be rose bushes in the front yard and the backyard
and in the marshes and by the roadside
I predict weapons will be banned
I predict Native Americans will no longer live on Reservations or on occupied land
and all occupied lands anywhere will sing the song of liberation
I predict slavery will be abolished in all forms and everywhere—domestic or corporate
I predict conflicts will be resolved with the power of understanding, equality,
fairness and compassion
I predict some people will still pull punches
I predict all religions will be many paths home
I predict all colors will be cherished as the colors of the rainbow
I predict we’ll know our neighbors
I predict the Earth will be our shared home to care for together
I predict we’ll regain our sanity of wholeness
I predict humans will be humans and birds will be birds
and elephants will be elephants and ants will be ants
and earthworms will be earthworms and fish will be fish
and we’ll be all God’s creatures big and small
I predict there’ll still be some monkey business
I predict God will remain the essence of creation
I predict we’ll find God within each of our souls
I predict mutated grown-ups will relearn
the childlike wonder and delight at the mystery and marvel of the universe
I predict in our human hearts we’ll dance to the divine music of the stars
I predict our dreams will live on for a million years
I predict all this will come true—all we have to do
is to make it happen—
you and me!

This is a poem written by Sajed Kamal who teaches a weekend intensive workshop “Renewable Energy and Sustainable Development,” in the fall. The poem was so full of hope that I could not resist including this in my blog. I hope you all like it as much as I have.

Clear the clutter

For a past few days, I have been really irritated because of cold and cough. Somehow, in the last week, I unconsciously decided to sleep for 2 hours at night for five continuous days. The result is known to all. We lose all the immunity and fall sick at the slightest instance of temperature difference. Furthermore i was again irritated that I was going to office despite my noble intention to sleep.

I made up for most of the time Friday night. However, although I was fine from health perspective this Saturday, it did not improve my state of feeling. Then my mom decided to give me a task. She told me to clear all the clutter from my desk and the house.

Knowing my mom, I knew from that look in her eyes that she really meant it. So, unwillingly, I began with all my documents. I had filled up my cupboard with them. Most of them appeared to be complete rubbish. It contained the non-disclosure agreement of my previous employer,old lease and license documents that were invalid, old receipts that would serve no purpose. I cleaned them up. Then I started with the books. Most of them were booklets, handouts, magazines and notes I had collected last year.

When I was done, I found that all the important stuffs could be contained in four files. The entire content of my cupboard was filled with all unimportant stuffs.
Then I began to sort out the clothes and I found that most of them cannot be used, they were too short or had worn out with use. This I could donate to the nearby orphanage.

Then I began with my mailbox. I found that most of the stuffs were all unimportant ones. There were newsletters that had everything to do with the advertisements and enticements rather than the reason that I had initially subscribed for. Then there were mails from people who were not significant enough in my life. Then there were spam mails.I deleted more than 2000 mails today and my mailbox now seems more organized.

I also deleted my social networking account that I had created unconsciously due to peer pressure. This is very important because social networking, although it helps to keep in touch with your friends, can open up a channel of intrusion from people you barely know and people you do not know at all. Sometimes, it really gets abusive.

Guess what??? I am feeling much better. At least I have taken one forward step today aimed at making myself feel happy.

Note: This is important!! All the above is my own experience. You may skip everything that I have written above. Although you all are very busy at the moment, please take 5 minutes to contemplate this. Have you unconsciously created too many clutter that you cannot manage at all? Do you feel irritated throughout the week? Do you get friend requests from people you barely know? Is your wall getting cluttered with all the rubbish facebook applications? If answer to any of this is yes, please take a moment to clear the clutter. We often blame the state of current order for our feeling miserable, but more than often these situations are creation of our own.
Clear the clutter. You will feel better. Are there people you do not want to hurt by declining requests? It is then time that you save yourself. You can make others better if you feel better yourself. Is there anything that had earlier served its utility but now has become a liability? But you cannot let it go because of emotions attached to it? Then it is the time that you overcome all the emotions and let it go. You cannot fully enjoy the present if you cannot let go of the past.

There is a saying that goes like this " What is the use of life when you cannot feel alive?" So, my friends, feel alive , don't feel miserable.

My own experience!! :) Nothing borrowed

Resolutions for past, present and future

1. To be so strong so that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
2. To talk health, happiness, wealth and prosperity to every person you meet.
3. To make all friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
4. To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
5. To think only of the best, to work for only the best and to expect only the best.
6. To be just as enthusiastic about success of others as you are about your own.
7. To forget the mistakes of the past and press 9on to the greater achievements of the future.
8 To wear a cheerful; expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.
9. To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
10 To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
11. To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds.
12. To live in faith that the whole world is on your side, so long, as you are true to the bets that is you
13. To love others in the same fashion the way you want them to love you.

All these are not mine. But I cannot acknowledge anybody because I do not remember where I have read this. The point is I read many books and articles and I happen to remember these. Hence I decided to write it down somewhere lest i forget.

Please feel free to add your resolutions if you like this and do post your comments.

The secret of happiness

A certain shopkeeper sent his son to learn about happiness from the wisest man in the world.the lad wandered through the desert for forty days, and finally came upon a beautiful castle, high atop a mountain. It was there that the wise man lived.

Rather than finding a saintly man, though, our hero, on entering the main room of the castle, saw a hive of activity: tradesmen came and went, people were conversing in the corners, a small orchestra were playing soft music, and there was a table covered with platters of the most delicious food in that part of the world. The wise man conversed with everyone, an the boy had to wait for two hours before it was his turn to be given the man's attention.

The wise man listened attentively to the boy's explanation of why he had come, but told him that hew didn't have time just then to explain the secret of happiness. He suggested that the boy look around the palace and return in two hours.

"Meanwhile, I want to ask you to do something.' said the wise man, handing the boy a teaspoon that held two drops of oil."As you wander around, carry this spoon with you without allowing the oil to spill"

The boy began climbing and descending the many stairways of the palace, keeping his eyes fixed on the spoon. After two hours, he returned to the room where the wise man was.

"Well," asked the wise man, "did you see the Persian tapestries that are hanging inb my dining hall? Did you see the garden that it took the master gardener ten years to create? Did you notice the beautiful parchment in my library?"

The boy was embarrassed, and confessed that he had observed nothing. his only concern had been not to spill the oil that the wise man had entrusted to him.

"Then go back and observe the marvels of my world" said the wise man. "You cannot trust a man if you don't know his house."

Relieved, the boy picked up the spoon and returned to his exploration of the palace, this time observing all of the works of art on the ceilings and the walls. He saw the gardens, the mountains all around hi, the beauty of the flowers, and the taste with which everything had been selected. Upon returning to the wise man, he related in detail everything he had seen.

"But where are the drops of oil I entrusted to you?" asked the wise man.

"Look9ing down at the spoon he held, the boy saw that the oil was gone.

"well there is only one piece of advice I can give you", said the wisest of wise men."The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon."

This story was illustrated by paulo Coelho in his remarkable book, The alchemist.

BEWARE OF 'ENERGY VAMPIRES'

Energy Vampires. This seems like a new seductive coinage. Okay, exactly who are the energy vampires? These are the people who sap all your energy and leave you with nothing but to whine about something that is not in your control. You can always avoid such people, right? You would easily know them right? Not very often. These people may be the closest person to you, the only person whom you trust. Worst, these could be your parents as well.

You can classify these people into two categories--
1) Malign
2) Benign

Those who are malign are usually jealous or they hate us for reason sometimes known and sometimes unknown. Known reasons can be we are better looking, we are much more talented, we are the attention getter, we are good at something. Basically, when they say something, that is usually not in our best interest. They would bully us, insult us so that they can hurt us and they can seek transient happiness. This is one kind called the malign energy vampire.

There is also a class called benign energy vampires. These could be your best friends, your relatives, your parents, your spouse etc. These people whenever they think, they think of your good interest. So it shouldn't be a problem right? But unfortunately, they can pose a worse threat than the malign ones. Often, they stifle you with their thoughts saying that they are thinking in your best interest and that whatever they think will think for our best. They will stuff you up with so much negative thoughts that you will take years to get rid of the after effects.

Have you ever seen that when you go for an examination and say you have prepared for it to a great extent, still some one from your family tells you to revise well and check out if you have missed something lest that is the topic that you have to answer and you fail? Have you seen parents following their children everywhere in their important projects in order to discipline them?

Seriously, this is an example of how our dear ones become an energy vampire .When you are bound to succeed and you leave no stone unturned to attain it, there is no scope for failure. When at this point you start to think about failure, it comes your way. Some people call it ' Law Of Attraction ' and some call it ' Like Attracts Like'. The point is when you tend to invest your time and energy in avoiding bad stuffs, the bad stuffs come your way. Basically, whatever you put your time and energy to, you tend to attract it. Try to avoid some person, and he inevitably shows up that day. This is no coincidence but law of attraction. You attracted that particular event into physical manifestation.

I will talk about two theories of physics:
1) The theory of matter and energy being inter convertible
2) Multiverse theory

If you have read about antimatter, you would know that when antimatter come together then it goes off as radiation and on the other hand, a radiation can also be disintegrated into antimatter. That means energy can be converted to matter. Although unstable :-) Now if say, our thought was a kind of energy, then it can also be manifested into transient matter.

Hugh Everett suggested a theory that the universe that we see is one of the infinite number of parallel universes and these parallel universes constantly interact and interfere with one another. We are mere spectator there. This is the multiverse theory.
There can be one universe where we have passed an exam and one where we have failed it. Just an example. ;-)

Let us assume that these parallel universes vibrate with a certain frequency and our thought an energy. If we think positively, then our thought would also have a frequency and cause our universe interfere with the parallel universe with which our frequency matches, and would create the positive outcome of that parallel universe interfere with ours and we tend to create a positive outcome in this universe. Why? because we focused on positive. However, the energy vampires tend to bring our energy down to a level so that we can attract negative outcome.

Hence, to be happy you need to focus on positive outcome and not let yourself bogged down by if you fail, what if lectures.

It will take a lot of time to convince that they are wrong. It took me five years. :-). After all, you love the person due to their positive traits. Although it is necessary for you to keep them from affecting your thoughts, it is also necessary to get them rid of their internal demons.Otherwise, they will find another prey to sap the positive energy from.

If they love you, you will be able to convince them.

Till then lots of love.

BIG ROCKS OF LIFE

One day an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students. As he stood in front of the group of high-powered overachievers he said, “Okay, time for a quiz.” He then pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouthed Mason jar and set it on the table. He produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them one at a time into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, “Is this jar full?” Everyone in the class said, “Yes.” Then he said, “Really?”

He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing it to work down into the space between the big rocks. Then he asked the group once more, “Is the jar full?” By this time the class was on to him. “Probably not,” one of them answered. “Good!” he replied.

He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand and started dumping the sand in the jar until it filled the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, “Is this jar full?” “No!” the class shouted. Once again he said, “Good.”

Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, “What is the point of this illustration?”

One eager beaver raised his hand and said, “The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it!” “No,” the speaker replied, “that's not the point.”

“The truth this illustration teaches us is that if you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all. What are the 'big rocks' in your life? Your children, your loved ones, your education, your dreams, a worthy cause, teaching others, doing things that you love, your health; your mate. Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you'll never get them in at all. If you sweat about the little stuff then you'll fill your life with little things and you'll never have the real quality time you need to spend on the big, important stuff.”

This story has been told by Stephen Covey in 1996.